I spent a lot of the summer looking out of a passenger seat window at the most beautiful coast line I'd ever seen. Looking at many new worlds and kingdoms on our journey with travellers eyes. At about mile 2000 i turned to Jon (life and business partner) and said, "I'm so sad I haven't felt inspired on this trip." Don't get me wrong, i was having a great time with the kids, grabbing the vibes from all the places we travelled through, but being 'creatively inspired' wasn't my experience. At the end of each day i wasn't any closer to knowing what the next theme to the next jewellery designs would be and it frustrated me.
..everything i need is here
Basically, i had found the 'big off' button and somewhere along the Pacific Coast Highway i gave permission to let go of the expectation of needing something outside of myself to be inspired by. Everything i needed was here. I could enjoy without the pressure to 'cease the moment' and without the pressure to be inspired. I allowed the 'mushy head' feeling in.
I've been been leaning into the blankness lately. I'm trying to not run away from the frustration that comes when we feel uncreative and I'm trying not to distract myself with someone else's work or words. I've been trying not to look for other people's 'versions of the versions' and been looking inside for what i need and what will really make me excited. I have the answers for me, more than you have the answers for me.
Now a few months later, Even as i write this, i'm scrolling through open tabs on the laptop for inspiration on the way people write, the things people say and the tone other 'better' writers can convey through their succinct words. But for some reason, this phrase 'I have every thing i need' is a stronger force. I've written it down many times over the past few months and the inner threads of meaning are slowly changing how i feel about myself.
..maybe we don't need more info. we need more clarity?
It has struck me recently how much we are living in a time of information and content. When i was growing up, it seemed like 'information' was power. But today we are almighty consumers of information, we can pretty much find out anything we need in an instant and i'm wondering if 'clarity' or 'understanding' is actually the new super power. 'How' we synthesise information has become more important than the 'knowledge' itself and that's what i want for my kids. To learn how to process all the content thrown at them, sieve all the meaning out and squash it back into a ball of clarity.
In saying all of this, i definitely don't mean that we don't take the amazing advice from likeminded friends or not to allow ourselves to be inspired by a walk around a new city or whatever, but at some point we stop and trust ourselves to find our inner voice.
If you've been following me and my family's story for a while now, you might of heard me say, 'my life has been a dance of making things happen and letting things happen.' If you're anything like me, you've been consuming content at an alarming rate. The hustle is real and you're good at making things happen. We look for more expertise, more audio books, or for the 'perfect time' to pitch your idea or better circumstances to come our way. When in reality, the answers we need are within reach.
Personally, when i know I'm stepping into a season that i have to be creatively productive... (like right now as we get stuck into our fourth quarter i.e Christmas sales!) I just try to look after myself more, do the things that i do to keep myself feeling most like me, clear the blockages as much as i can and try to be flippin' patient enough to let clarity rise to the surface.
Anyway, that's my two cents. It's all a process and maybe this helps with anyone struggling to find clarity and their creative vision in the abyss of information out there. Here's to leaning into our own sense of what we need, trusting our own gut on what looks or feels good and really knowing that we are enough and what we need is already here.