Gosh, i just did some basic maths and realised i've been a Mum for a third of my lifetime. Becoming a Mother nearly 12 years ago has for sure been my most harrowing and exciting adventure so far. During this time, the road i was on took me on a 7 year detour into the wild terrain of medical infertility. Even so, becoming a Mum for me, was like a surprising wrong turn that ended up being way better than the road we first mapped. It's been a belief shaper and exposed me to emotions on all sides of all spectrums. It's like, when i became a Mum, that was me done for. I also unknowingly gave permission for someone (in the form of little wee beings) to lurk around me constantly holding up a mirror so i can see myself all of the time. All of 'myself' especially the shadowy parts. My unspoken words have many times become stronger forces than the spoken and vice versa, there's been way to many times i shouldn't have spoken. The tears during the mystery infertile years have been stored as if each, a word from a great mentor, even though they were words i had no desire to hear. The mothering, the unmothering; the dry ground like long boring days in the house when you nibble too much, the marshy lands where we feel like we might go under in the minutiae, the green happy rolling hills of gummy smiles and kisses and the mountain peak glee at the end of term dance showcases. For sure my most greatest adventure.
I wrote the following words 3 years ago while i was miscarrying a little one. Mother's Day landed a few days after our 12 week scan where we were shocked to see no heart beat. That Sunday Morning, these words unfurled as the girls were downstairs making me breakfast. Maybe there's a line that's for you or someone you know.
We're sending one of these postcards out with each order for the next week or two coming up to Mother's Day. It's a tricky day isn't it? There's an exclusivity I'm uncomfortable with but at the same time, we all have a connection to motherhood in some way.
Wishing you all love and empowerment to be you today. x